Author Archives: David Yaffe-Bellany

Frank Lampard breaks Bobby Tambling’s goal record: Frank Lampard (8.4) is easy to mock. He’s English and therefore lacks the sparkle of players like Mata (10.2), Oscar (8.0) and Hazard (9.6); he’s pathologically incapable of playing alongside Steven Gerrard (9.2), … Continue reading →

United is taking things seriously: Manchester United has won the Premier League title, but Sir Alex Ferguson is still chewing gum, still yelling at officials, and still twisting his face into new and exciting expressions of disgust. United isn’t taking … Continue reading →

Defoe scores, Tottenham wins: Before Sunday’s match, Jermain Defoe (7.9) hadn’t scored a Premier League goal in 2013, which is pretty embarrassing — for someone whose sole function is goal-scoring, who regularly spends 90 minutes just toddling around the penalty … Continue reading →

We’re inching closer to the end of the Premier League season with so much still to play for in the league and Fantasy Premier League. Here are my observations from my adventures from gameweek 33 of the Fantasy Premier League: … Continue reading →

With just six matches to go in the 2012-13 Premier League season, it’s going to be over before you know it. But before we call the season a day, here’s a recap of my adventures in Fantasy Premier League from … Continue reading →

Before we dive into gameweek 32 tomorrow, here are my adventures in Fantasy Premier League, gameweek 31 from last weekend. Ricardo Lambert (pronounced Lam-bear): My father sometimes “Europeanizes” Rickie Lambert’s (7.1) name, probably in an effort to sound funny. After … Continue reading →

Before we dive into all of the international matches tomorrow, here are my adventures in Fantasy Premier League, gameweek 30 from last weekend. Fat but effective: Despite the post-Real Madrid transfer rumors, despite Robin van Persie’s (13.7) arrival from Arsenal, … Continue reading →

Gabriel Agbonlahor and the sad decline of Aston Villa Football Club: There’s something awfully depressing about Aston Villa’s recent slump – something that has everything to do with Gerard Houllier, Darren Bent (7.8) and even Emile “Really big in Australia … Continue reading →

I see a lot of promise in Tottenham Hotspur. I see a club inching its way to the top of the Premier League on the backs of four or five exciting young players, a club that is doing everything to … Continue reading →

While we’re still recovering from England’s best hope of winning a Champions League trophy getting knocked out of the tournament yesterday, here are my notes and observations from gameweek 28 in the Fantasy Premier League: Kagawa scores his first Manchester … Continue reading →

A little late this week, but here are my notes and observations from gameweek 27 in the Fantasy Premier League: Americans! In the Premier League! Brek Shea (5.0) made his Stoke debut in a game that I imagine most of … Continue reading →

Gareth Bale is too good for the Premier League: I don’t know which is the greater tragedy: that Bale has played only one season of Champions League football, or that he’s Welsh, and therefore will never play in a World … Continue reading →

Samba’s return: Whenever I watch Christopher Samba (5.0) – which isn’t often; it’s not like I’ve been getting up early to see Anzhi Mackhachkala games – I always cast my mind back to his amazing career in the north of … Continue reading →

Harry Redknapp signed a player: Loic Remy (6.0) has scored his first Premier League goal, and QPR is undefeated in five games, which is exciting but also kind of disorienting in the way that Redknapp teams — with their cavalier … Continue reading →